“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.”
Those of you that use LinkedIn frequently know the above quote well. It is the generic, prepopulated language that LinkedIn provides when you initiate an invitation to connect with someone. For me, it is like nails on a chalkboard. Or, for you baseball fans, not getting the runner in from third with less than two out. Well, you get the point. In prior blog posts I spoke about using a brag book, the need to stay in front of your network, the importance of networking, how to stand out and how to use a bio, but the focus here is LinkedIn etiquette specifically as it relates to inviting people to connect via LinkedIn.
You may not be accomplishing your goal of extending your network when using only the default language that LinkedIn provides when connecting with any other LinkedIn user because recipients will be less likely to accept your invitation.
I like to read why someone wants to connect with me because I receive a lot of LinkedIn connection requests. Is it because they read a blog post of mine or because I met them at a networking event? Maybe it is because they saw my fully optimized LinkedIn profile and think that I might be able to help them extend their network. All of these are great reasons as far as I am concerned. I really just want people to treat me as an individual and “connect” with me on some level.
Using Common Sense Online
Connecting on LinkedIn is really just like connecting off-line (in person): make conversation, establish rapport, establish credibility and express a genuine desire to help the other party. If you were at a networking event, you wouldn’t use an automated response. No, instead, you would react in a spontaneous, unique way based on the interests of the other person. A LinkedIn invitation should be equally unique and tailored to the recipient. Doing so will surely increase your acceptance rate.
In this same spirit, I think it is disingenuous to choose the “Friend” option that LinkedIn provides. LinkedIn allows this option so you can connect with a friend without having worked with them and without knowing their email address. But don’t use “Friend” if you don’t know me at all. Do you agree?
What To Say
I try to use a common connection, explain why I am reaching out and stress that I am trying to give as much or more than I get from my network. Since LinkedIn gives you a restricted amount of characters, you have to be succinct. Here is an example of a template that I have used over and over with great success (meaning many more acceptances than archives!):
“Greg, Harry suggested I check out your group. In the process, I came across your profile. I’m exploring new directions after a successful career in HR at Merck, Amgen and J&J. Maybe our networks can help each other. Would you be open to a brief networking conversation? Thanks, Matt”
Who To Invite To Connect
Figuring out who to connect with on LinkedIn is a hotly debated topic. There are varying schools of thought. On one side of the spectrum you have LIONs. This stands for LinkedIn Open Networker (LION). These users believe that you should connect with EVERYONE. “The bigger and broader the network the better for all,” they say. This is well and good until the uneducated LION runs out of LinkedIn connection requests. Yes, LinkedIn allows you “only” 3,000 connection requests. Seems like a lot unless you start trying to connect with everyone. Once you run out, then you can’t connect with people who you really want to reach.
On the other end of the spectrum are the ultraconservative LinkedIn users who apply strict rules on who they connect with and from whom they accept invitations. They believe it is important to keep your network pure and close to the vest. They only want to endorse people they know well. For example, I had dinner with a guy for two hours. We worked at the same company (though not together). We had common acquaintances. I sent him a LinkedIn connection request the next day. His response: “I’m sorry Matt; I only connect with people I have actually worked with.” Wow. That is a narrow view.
As an aside, when you receive a connection request you are presented with three choices: Accept, Archive/Ignore or I Don’t Know (IDK). I suggest never choosing IDK. If you don’t want to accept the request, simply choose Archive/Ignore. Why? Because LinkedIn will first suspend and then ban a user if they rack up more than a few (five, I think) IDKs.
I fall in between these two extremes. I believe in the social media doctrine that you can start relationships online and use them to establish offline relationships that never would have occurred otherwise. (Like pen pals. Remember that?) The power of networking is amazing. I have helped strangers that live in another country or across the US. I believe that this giving spirit will boomerang back at some point when least expected.
So, I encourage you to use customized LinkedIn connection request language. And if you are a recipient of a request that is well written, consider being a little more lenient in accepting these requests. The resulting larger network might really surprise you in beneficial ways you never dreamt of!
Remember, It Only Takes ONE!
Share with your social networks!
Matt
About the Author
Matthew Levy is a well-rounded HR professional and career coach with fifteen years of broad experience in both specialist (e.g., recruiting) and generalist (e.g., HR business partner) roles at blue-chip companies, including Merck, Amgen and Johnson & Johnson.
Currently, Matt works full time as a Senior HR Generalist for Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceutical Research & Development. Prior to J&J, Matt relocated his family to Southern California to take a position with Amgen, the world’s largest biotechnology company, where he led the talent acquisition function for Amgen’s commercial operations and corporate staff groups. Before Amgen, Matt spent several years at Merck, one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world. There, Matt held a variety of positions in both recruiting and generalist capacities.
In addition to his full time work, Matt founded a career coaching practice, Corner Office Career Coaching. Matt works one-on-one with professionals and executives providing them with customized solutions to their career challenges. As a 20-year corporate HR professional with a large network who has also successfully conducted his own effective, cutting-edge job search, he is well qualified to help others reach their career goals.
Matt graduated cum laude with a B.S. in Business Management from Ithaca College. He is an actively engaged member of several professional organizations including the Philadelphia HR Planning Society where he is on the Board of Directors and the Greater Philadelphia Senior Executives Group. He also regularly gives presentations on HR issues as well as how to manage one’s career using social media.
Matt lives in Doylestown, PA with his wife, daughter and son. He jogs through the Bucks County countryside to stay fit.
Matt, I agree with you! However Linkedin does not enable me to customize a message anymore! It seems the only option I have when inviting people to my network is the standard line. Do you know anything about this — perhaps it now requires me to upgrade to a paid membership in order to customize my invites?
Shawn, Thanks – as we discussed, if you connect through the person’s profile screen, you can in fact customize your request. Matt
Only if I know the person can I customize my invites.
Debra, Thanks for stopping by! If you say more, I can try to help because I’m not sure I fully understand your comment. Thanks, Matt
Matt, great blog post! I’ve been utilizing this technique and it is definitely a LinkedIn “Best Practice”. On the flip side, if I receive a request to connect that is generic, and particularly if I don’t know the person or see any common connection, before accepting I ask them what benefit would result for both of us as a result of becoming “connections”. They have to sell me on benefits before I accept, if they haven’t done so up front!
Jory, Thanks for stopping by! I agree, I think folks should let a tiny bit of their personality show through when attempting to connect with others. It can go a long way! Matt
Thanks! I used to feel I am the only prude! At the current moment Linkedin allows you to choose from a few options while inviting; eg – if you have done business together, friends, share a group etc. I never choose the option ‘friend’ unless it is a friend I am inviting, if I do not find any common ground I choose ‘done business together’ and then apologise for using that subterfuge in my note, I also give reasons as to why I wish to connect at the same time. I do choose DNKs sometimes to punish people who sent request as friends (and are not and have nothing common professionally) and then get piqued if I ask for an explanation and write me rude replies!
Aditi, Thx for stopping by. I agree with your comments except I haven’t IDK’d anyone because I don’t want to receive any – though claiming your a friend when you’re not is annoying. It’s tempting…
Matt
I would think that it is just common sense not to use the standard reply…is’nt it? Imagine meeting people and always have ONLY ONE response no matter who it is. The rule that I aways have followed is not to accept invites from people who use the standard Linkedin message. It is an indication that they do not have time for you or true networking.
Jay, I guess it is not as common sense as we would hope! Many times I do not immediately accept their invitation. Instead I send them a link to this article and ask them why they are interested in connecting with me on LinkedIn. Nine times out of ten, they respond back with a thoughtful reason to connect. And hopefully along the way I have given them pause to reflect on their approach. Matt
Hi Matt
Really enjoying your blog posts about LinkedIn. Ditto to the comments about standard invitations to connect – they really annoy and disappoint me.
I think people in their hurry to amass lots of followers and look popular forget the real purpose of networking and online sites such as LinkedIn.
It’s quality not quantity that counts albeit I also agree with your comments about being very selective following your dinner party tale. That was very shortsighted, in my opinion, of the individual who declined an invitation just because you hadn’t worked directly together. He too has overlooked the purpose of networking as much as someone who scatter guns out lots of standard invitations.
Majella, Thanks for your comment and I’m glad you are finding these articles of use. Check out some of the other content – would appreciate your feedback. Hosting this blog is very gratifying but the real learning is by receiving varied input and perspective from readers! Matt
Your blog, eye opening. Really enjoyed reading it.
Kashan, Thanks for your reply! Glad these articles have been valuable to you. Matt
Nice blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol
Hi Matthew, I have read this with great interest and agree. I was wondering if linkedin ever show you how many connection requests you have left? This may alter the way people use the system as they get towards the end of their connection requests allowed. Thanks for the tips, I will definately be introducing them……Good luck. Antony
Antony, I believe that LinkedIn users receive 3,000 connection requests. You can see how many you have sent. Go to your Connections page and you will see a link for “Sent Invitations.” At the bottom of the page it will tell you how many you have sent.
When you exceed that you can ask for more and LinkedIn will disperse maybe another 500 at a time. But as you can imagine, this does really hamper your ability to connect moving forward.
With that said, 3,000 is a lot until you start using them haphazardly.
I will confide that when folks ask me to connect with them I, in turn, ask them to connect with me. Sometimes they admit they are out of invitations. Then I remind them they can request more from LinkedIn. Matt
Great information about how to really “use” this very important tool. Especially when your are looking for a job – it can be addicting to go for more and more connections – you remind us (like in life) it is more about quality (and taking the time for a little conversation) then quantity.
Thanks again – I heard about you in my recent interview class with Jackie Savoy – she said you were great – she was right .
Thanks – I will be following your blog and spreading the word to my fellow Linked In members.
George, Thanks for your comment and your compliment. I’m very pleased to hear that you are finding value from these articles. I’m working on another one related to LinkedIn recommendations. Stay tuned for that one and I look forward to your comments. Matt
Just as with the explosion of the internet so is LinkedIn also opening huge amounts of data to the public. I recently joined LinkedIn for professional networking and to some extent keep up with social contacts from past employers.
I came across a profile of one LinkedIn member in my geographical area that sparked interest to me. There are very, very few people with my surname in the US and believe this person their family member may be distantly related to me.
This person does not know me, is not connected to my network but am curious to ask this person’s family connections. Without breaking protocol, how can I go about asking this person a question and w/o inviting them to my network?
Any appropriate answers would be appreciated.
Tony D.
Tony, The two options I can think of are 1) if you have a paid LinkedIn account, you can send an “InMail” which is a direct message to this person. 2) If you share a LinkedIn group with this person, you should be able to send them a direct message via the “Send a message” hyperlink when viewing their profile. You must share a group for this feature to work. Hope this helps. Matt
Matthew, thank you! In general I assume nothing wrong emailing this person through the group we both belong to even though I do not know this person?
Regarding the person I mentioned earlier, I saw on Facebook this person is administrating a group for our family surname. The contact will be made easy I think by joining Facebook.
Tony
Very recently there was another person who sent me a linkedin request and indicated that he had found my profile interesting (he had personalised the invite!) I enquired about which part and he immediately started saying plenty of rude things like I am ill mannered, bad tempered and ending with I am old and therefore a fool. All I had done was to point out that my Contact Settings clearly mentions that I will connect only if the request specifies a good reason. From his replies and his attitude it was clear that he had not even read my profile enough to note either my age of the Contact Settings, I wonder then what exactly had he found interesting! I wish there was some means by which we could get even with such impudent and un-professional people who perhaps intend to use linkedin like a friendship site. Such behaviour is extremely annoying.
Aditi, I have not experienced this type of behavior myself but that doesn’t mean it does not exist. LinkedIn is a microcosm of society: well-mannered people and not so well-mannered people. I would just move on and not be concerned about it. Matt
Matt- If a person is the type who would always use the standard message–that brands themselves based on their action, and it is not a positive message. If they avoid doing what is most logical and comes natural to them (using the standard message) just as a result of your advice–one has not changed their true mindset and the orientation that person has in building a relationship–you have just hidden and disguised their real nature. Unfortunately, it is impossible to distinguish between those you have really educated and those who you have provided a means to hide their original intent.
[...] a prior article I ranted about one of my pet peeves regarding LinkedIn etiquette. Well, here is a second pet peeve. Often I receive emails that read in my email program like so: [...]
Great article! I totally agree with never pressing the IDK too!